SCREW ROGERS | Collective Network Node

The Great Canadian Blackout Protocol

Rogers is the only network that can single-handedly take down the entire country's economy, banking systems, and emergency services while still sending you a bill for the full month. We call it "Total Connectivity"—mostly because when it fails, you are totally disconnected from reality. Whether it's the "Inter-Gateway Protocol" excuse or just general incompetence, Rogers ensures your digital life is always one update away from a 12-hour forced digital detox.

The Ignite "Experience": A cloud-based DVR that forgets your recordings as soon as you sit down to watch them.
Infinite Data Plans: Unlimited data at speeds so throttled you'll be nostalgic for the 56k modem era.
The Shaw Merger: Moving from two bad choices to one giant, expensive monopoly. Progress!

I filed a CCTS complaint. Rogers responded 48 hours before the deadline with a $10 credit offer. I rejected it. They escalated nothing.

— CCTS Archaeology

I cancelled Ignite TV. Rogers continued to charge me for it for 4 months, then sent the balance to collections.

— Cancelled But Charged

Rogers' call centre puts you in a queue, plays hold music, and then hangs up after 45 minutes. No explanation. No callback option.

— Hold Music Survivor

My Ignite box restarted during the overtime of Game 7. Rogers had no comment. I have many comments.

— Game 7 Tragedy

The Ignite modem overheats if I use it for more than 4 hours straight. Rogers calls this a 'feature of intensive usage.'

— Thermal Engineer

Rogers added 'Rogers TV+' to my cable package without asking. When I tried to remove it, I was told it was 'complimentary' but couldn't be removed.

— Mandatory Compliment

Rogers sponsored the 2022 Grey Cup while their network was down for most of the preceding week. Priorities noted.

— Grey Cup Viewer

Rogers' 'Smart Home Monitoring' app hasn't loaded since the 2022 outage. They still bill me for it monthly.

— Ghost App Subscriber

Red Alert: The Roaming Trap

Rogers' "Roam Like Home" is a masterclass in creative accounting. Why pay local prices when you can pay $15 a day for the privilege of using the data you already pay for? It's the ultimate travel companion: expensive, unnecessary, and guaranteed to leave you with a headache when you return to Canadian soil.