Collective Node 04 // Rogers Ops

SCREW ROGERS

Disconnected by Design // Overcharged by Default

National Uplink
INTERMITTENT
Support Queue
4+ HOUR WAIT
Roaming Fees
EXTORTIONATE
Shareholder Joy
UNLIMITED

The Great Canadian Blackout Protocol

Rogers is the only network that can single-handedly take down the entire country's economy, banking systems, and emergency services while still sending you a bill for the full month. We call it "Total Connectivity"—mostly because when it fails, you are totally disconnected from reality. Whether it's the "Inter-Gateway Protocol" excuse or just general incompetence, Rogers ensures your digital life is always one update away from a 12-hour forced digital detox.

Customer Service Chronicles
I asked for a credit for a week-long outage. They gave me $2.14. I feel truly valued as a Platinum member.
— 15-Year Customer
Ignite TV's voice remote mishears me every single time. I asked for the news and got a documentary about crabs.
— Vocal Recognition Casualty
During the 2022 outage, Rogers' CEO was on vacation. The company posted a tweet from his account while he was offline.
— Corporate Communication Analyst
I have been a Rogers customer for 12 years. New customers get the same package for $40 less. Loyalty is a one-way relationship here.
— Seniority Paradox
The Ignite modem overheats if I use it for more than 4 hours straight. Rogers calls this a 'feature of intensive usage.'
— Thermal Engineer
Rogers added 'Rogers TV+' to my cable package without asking. When I tried to remove it, I was told it was 'complimentary' but couldn't be removed.
— Mandatory Compliment
I called about a $30 discrepancy and was on hold for 50 minutes. My time is worth more than $30 and Rogers knows this.
— Strategic Hold Time
My Ignite box restarted during the overtime of Game 7. Rogers had no comment. I have many comments.
— Game 7 Tragedy

Red Alert: The Roaming Trap

Rogers' "Roam Like Home" is a masterclass in creative accounting. Why pay local prices when you can pay $15 a day for the privilege of using the data you already pay for? It's the ultimate travel companion: expensive, unnecessary, and guaranteed to leave you with a headache when you return to Canadian soil.